If anyone had told me even two years ago that I would learn how to ski at the ripe, old age of 34, I would’ve laughed in their face. I would’ve told them my body is too old for that shit.
We hear that quite often, don’t we?
“I am too old to party!”
“I am too old to start over!”
“I am too old to *insert verb*!”
I whole-heartedly believed in that shit.
Until, in my 30’s, I learned how to draw. I taught myself 3D-modeling. I learned how to ski. Yes, my hubster is a ski instructor – but it is always the instructors who express shock that we didn’t get divorced over the ordeal! I have to say my hubster is super duper patient and such a great teacher. He didn’t mind hanging out with me night after night on the bunny hill while I practiced, surrounded by three or four year olds whipping by on tiny skis or snowboards.
Speaking of them wee toddlers skiing, they were a huge inspiration to my learning how to ski. I see these cute little things bundled up, flying down the hill. If they fall or crash, they get right back up. No fear. No complaints. Don’t give a shit if it’s cold af, snot running down their little nosies.
More often than not, I see a small class of wee todds coming down a blue run while I’m going up the chairlift. I would talk myself into going down the same run, only to regret it as soon as I had gone beyond the point of no return.
I didn’t have the happiest of childhood. Now, I yearn to live like a child. To embrace that innocence of having no fear, of never having been defeated, of not feeling tired, of not having been told “you can’t do it”…. I want to live life with a clean slate. My mother did not give me that, but I choose to give it to myself.
I feel (hope) that the days of hatin’ on the monsters are over. I don’t want to waste another second thinking about “if only they had…” I need to live my life. Everything they never taught me as a parent, I will now teach myself.
I don’t want to be bound by the constraints of the society.
I don’t want to live by what’s socially acceptable and what’s not.
I want to approach the world with this fierce, unapologetic curiosity of a child.
The way I see it, we are never too old for anything.
I get it, we get hurt along the way. Shit happens. Somewhere along the journey, we learn and hold onto fear, to pre-brace for the falls. But we mustn’t forget to live life! Shit happens, deal with what you got as best you can, and that’s the best any of us can do.