Lu-Lu-Lucy's Rant

Picking up the mess | Living life | sans tiger-parents

Thank you, mother monster

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Never thought I’d say this but I gotta thank mother monster for treating me like garbage for most of my life. I now understand why I was such a doormat – as a girlfriend, a friend and most of all, a daughter. Now that I am able to look back and see it as part of my past, I recognize that I never wanted anyone to feel belittled, abandoned or ridiculed… Nor any hostility, sadness, fear or self-loathing because of my words, my attitude or my behaviour.

It took many years to let things go, and I have not 100%. But with the support of my hubster and a few close friends, I know that my perspective and attitude have shifted and I’m on my way to healing.

I choose to consciously turn this people-pleasing trait into constructive compassion and empathy. I am hopeful that my decision of going into nursing will align more closely with my personality, beliefs and values. I am certainly more in touch with who I am and why I stand so strongly for or against certain situations/people.

My good friend, Sam, once told me that she is in fact unable to think negatively. (!!) Being the pessimist that I used to be, I was quite astonished at her “inability” to be negative. For my 2016 new year’s resolutions, I decided that my #1 goal was to “be positive!”

Every time that I was about to talk me into self-sabotage, I recall what Sam said. I try to exercise my brain into the habit of kicking out the unnecessary and negative thoughts, as I read somewhere that brains are like muscles – they remember chemically how and what we react to. (Check this link: http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/10/how-to-get-rid-of-anger/ )

Overall, I have been experiencing calm and peace in a huge way. I hope to continue on this path to mental healthiness and peace within.

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Author: lululucysrant

Lover of: the ocean. sunshine. beach. my hubster. my friends. loving my hubster and my friends. traveling. summer days. summer nights. sunsets. shorts. summer dresses. flip flops. my Berkenstocks. skiing! (new love. but i definitely appreciate the beach more) drawing. music. movies. documentaries. photos. adventures. buildings. architecture. books. big cities. being Canadian. my (Nexus) phone and tablet. (last but not least) sashimi. Not a huge fan of: tiger parents. judgmental people. being Chinese. lack of justice. the oilsands. Stephen Harper. communism. capital punishment. hypocrisy.

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